Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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