I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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