so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
This is the prime rib incident all over again
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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