The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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