3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
