Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
