Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
