butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
