i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Shame - the story of my life.
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