covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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