That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
