either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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