you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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