I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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