Kiss
Puke
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
