Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
wow bdsm is so cute
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
