Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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