Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We talked him into tasing himself.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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