Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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