I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
