We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
