and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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