On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I think I died a long time ago.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
