I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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