For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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