Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
