cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
