Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Welp...herpes.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
