For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
