but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
This house was built for laser tag.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
