he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
