States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
