Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
