you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
