I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
