Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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