bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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