He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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