Dual....:-)
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i will never coherently bang her
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
