In the future we'll all be gay
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
