ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
