If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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