I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm bleeding and have questions
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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