happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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