I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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