need another drink. this is the easiest way
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
