This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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