meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
