There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
