I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
