I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
