Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
