I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
