how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
